"Horn OK Please" and other lessons I learned in India

In India, it's ok to honk

Cars honk endlessly as they zip in and out of traffic. Tiny rickshaws burst at the seams with extra passengers, some of whom have their legs or head poking out in an effort to make more room. Women wearing colorful Punjabi dresses and saris sit sideways in the back of motorpeds, some cradling babies in their arms as they make their way through the congested streets.

Vendors selling fruit, snacks, coconuts and souvenirs flood the sidewalks. Pedestrian traffic spills onto the streets because sidewalks are too crowded. Stray dogs sit lazily in a corner basking in the sun. But nothing makes people stop walking, they continue their path uninterrupted. Somehow, the seeming chaos flows in perfect harmony. No one is struck by a car, no one falls out of a rickshaw or off a motorped.

This is life in India: a dizzying dance of 1 billion people living in a land that is a third of the size of the United States but with three times more people.

In order to survive in India you need to be a quick learner. Can you imagine the skill it takes to cross a busy intersection with no traffic lights? It involves a lot hand signals, brisk walking and praying.

Here are some of the lessons I learned:

1.      You must not stay in your lane while driving. Although there may be lines painted on the road, no one observes them. There are just too many people in India and the easiest way to get around, especially in their small cars, is to ignore the lines and make your own lane. Which brings me to lesson number 2…

2.      You must honk while driving. It is not rude, it is a courtesy! Every truck in India has a sign on the rear that reads: “Horn OK Please.” This is truly a matter of public safety. With so many cars on the road and makeshift lanes, how else will someone know you are approaching?

3.      Don’t bother walking on sidewalks. There is no room! Just make sure you are alert at all times to avoid getting hit by a rickshaw or a moped.

4.      A family of four fits on a scooter. Including babies and kids. Unlike the U.S., there is no law against having children on scooters. People ride around with their kids all the time. During my time there,  I never saw any of them get struck by a car or fall of the scooter.

5.      You must drive aggressively. It is OK to pass cars while driving through a curve. Believe it or not, the oncoming drivers are expecting this. They will give you a courtesy honk, slow down and allow you to get back in your lane.

6.      When asking directions don’t bother saying “please” or “thank you.” You must stick to the point. Example: When you approach someone, simply say “Statue of Liberty.” They will gladly give you directions. Then you’ll drive off without even so much as a “thanks.” When I inquired about this lack of courtesy to an Indian friend, he said “Indians cut to the chase. Who has time for all that?!”  

7.      Respect. When traveling it is important to respect the customs and traditions of the country you are visiting. India is a modest country so I covered my chest and arms whenever the occasion required it. Take the time to learn about the country you are visiting before you get there. Once there, learn and try to understand your surroundings.

Reserve your judgements. For instance, if it seems bizarre to see kids on mopeds with their parents, remember that cars are expensive in India. Some people can only afford a moped. So people do what they need to do to get to work and transport their kids to and from school.

Holy Cow: Welcome to India!

What people forget to tell you about India is that you should never strike a cow. Yes, we all hear about cows intermingling with traffic on busy city roads. Spotting cows on the street becomes something we look forward to as travelers – a type of game we revel in as we try to capture it on camera.

Yet, no one tells you prior to your arrival that striking a cow, more specifically, running it over with your car, is the biggest “no no” you can commit. Hurting or, god forbid, killing a cow will surely guarantee you will go straight to Hindu hell. Even worse, you will be socially ostracized unless you make great amends.

As one of my Indian friends put it: “You will hurt the owner’s feelings…and you’ll have to pay reparations for the damage.” In short, you will have to apologize and pay the owner whatever he deems the cow is worth.

You see, cows really are holy in India. They are considered givers of life. Their milk literally feeds a nation – whether it is turned into buttermilk, milk, yogurt or cheese. Whatever the byproduct, dairy is what keeps this mostly vegetarian nation of nearly 1 billion people fed.

Cows are so revered that there is actually a national “cattle appreciation day.” In Maharashtra, the state that is home to the city of Mumbai, this holiday is called “Pola.” Once a year, farmers celebrate by bathing their cows and ox and feeding them the best grass or grains available. They decorate them by painting their horns and, if needed, cover them with a cloth to protect them from the cold. I swear I am not making this up!

Given all this, don’t even think about ordering a cheeseburger at an Indian McDonalds. It is not a myth that they don’t serve beef.  Every McDonalds has a sign outside their restaurant advertising that they do not sell beef or beef products. So get your beef fix before you leave the United States.

Or do what I did. My first meal back on American soil? A cheeseburger, of course!

Goodbye 2010, I'm off to India!

It is the last day of the year and I’m off to India in 12 hours. As I look back at 2010, I realize the gifts this year brought me. Although it was a year of much change and of painful detachments, it was also a year of much gain.

Breaking up with a former flame early in the year allowed to me grow as an individual and regain my sense of self, something I did not realize I needed. This breakup opened the door for living on my own for the first time in my 30 years.

Living in Miami Beach alone was a giant step in believing in my ability to support and protect myself regardless of where I live or my life circumstances. The sense of pride and independence I feel now is remarkable.

Located just a block from the beach, my tiny beach bungalow became a haven for me. It was my retreat from the world. Those four walls housed laughter, tears and many joyous moments I shared with family and friends.

My studio apartment was conveniently located in the bustling North Beach neighborhood, just two miles from my job. Every time the weather allowed I would bike to work, taking in the soothing scenery before my 12 hour shifts.

My days off were spent sleeping in and taking lazy strolls along the beach and cooking with friends. The freedom of those days allowed me to enjoy countless bike rides with my sweet friend Ellen. We would laugh, talk and share our deepest thoughts and feelings. Those are days I will always treasure.

I made and lost friends this year but I’m grateful for every life I’ve touched. I’m thankful for everyone who shared my laughter, tears, messes and successes. It’s all part of this adventure called life.

 I turned 30 this year and I rang in this new decade with a bang – Miami style! Aside from my Sweet Sixteen, this was probably the best birthday I ever had. The only thing that was missing was my mom but I know she was sending her blessings from above.

This year allowed me to spend time with my family in Arizona. We had such a wonderful family reunion in April to commemorate the first anniversary of my mom’s passing. Although we cried the entire length of the Easter Sunday mass, I’ll never forget how we embraced each other and slowly pulled each other through that difficult moment.

This summer brought me much joy. My sister and her family came to visit me for the 4^th of July. It was amazing to show her around the neighborhood and introduce her to my friends. I also enjoyed the visit of my brother Robert, his wife and kids.

We all drove to Orlando and took the kids to Disney for the first time. Tears filled my eyes as I watched the kids enjoy themselves at Magic Kingdom. They were so happy to see Mickey and the Disney princesses. I remember my brother, my sister-in-law, my friend Jadira and I standing in front of Cinderella’s castle that night crying as the fireworks light up the sky. I knew that each of us was silently thanking God for allowing us to experience that moment as a family.

The summer also brought a very special individual to my life that opened up my heart and taught me that I could love again. For that, I am grateful.

This fall, my career reached new heights as I joined the very talented team of Chef Paula DaSilva at 1500 Degrees, a steakhouse at the Eden Roc hotel where I worked. Working with Paula, as well as Chef Benjamin Walanka and Chef Adrienne Grenier, allowed me to gain confidence as a chef and refine my skills. I will always be grateful for everything they taught me along the way.

Finally, this year has brought me to Texas. How grateful I am for my Indian family! Without them, I don’t know where I would be right now. The support they have given me is unmatched. Being in Texas is helping me heal my heart and mind and is propelling me to move forward.

Now, I’m beginning 2011with a trip to India for the first time. I am thrilled about my travels and my future move to Italy next year.  How lucky am I? I thank my lucky stars every day.

Goodbye 2010! I’m off to India…

Taking a bite out of the Big Easy

New Orleans is one of those cities that stay with you long after you are gone. On any random day you will be sipping your morning coffee when out of nowhere you’ll think: “Wow, I wish I had some beignets to go with this.”

Your mind will drift to the French Quarter and its cozy streets. You’ll remember the coffee with chicory you had at Café du Monde or at Café Beignet. Your mouth will water at the thought of pressing your lips against a warm sweet beignet.

During a hectic work day you will wish you could stop at Acme Oyster House for a shrimp po’boy or cap the evening off with an original Hurricane at Lafitte’s, the oldest bar in the United States.

Oh…and did I mention the eternal craving for gumbo and jambalaya you are guaranteed to have once you leave?

Let me tell you, the Big Easy will make even a finicky eater a lover of Cajun and Creole food. The variety and creativity of the chefs in that city will keep your mouth watering.

We had the most amazing brunch at Mr. B’s Bistro on Royal Street. Whether it was shrimp and grits or the eggs Benedict with shredded pork and gravy, every dish was a knock out. The shrimp gumbo was spectacular. The best part is they serve you an abundance of warm crusty French bread so you can sop up every last bit of the delicious sauce on your plate.

New Orleans is a city of great music and fun so you can walk off the calories of your culinary indulgences. Take a stroll along the Mississippi River or explore the architecture and groovy shops in the French Quarter. Visiting the French Market is a must. There you will find an assortment cool souvenirs and, most importantly, really good food.

Every food lover deserves to enjoy this majestic city at least once in their lives. Don’t miss any opportunity to visit! When you finally make to the Big Easy try every dish you can. Eat everything! Trust me, you’ll be craving all that food once you are back home.

All this writing is making me hungry now. I think I’m going to make some beignets…